The Danger of the Grandmother's Substitute Role: Structural Distortions in the Family System Introduction: The Role of the Grandmother in the Extended Family — Evolutionary and Social Context From an evolutionary-biological perspective, the phenomenon of the "grandmother" (post-reproductive female investment) is considered one of the adaptive strategies that increase offspring survival. However, in the modern social context, a grandmother's attempt to replace the parents goes beyond adaptive support and turns into a form of family dysfunction known in systemic family therapy as "generation skew" and "rigid triangulation." This is not just excessive care but a systemic disruption affecting the child's mental development, parental competence of adult children, and the grandmother's own psychological well-being. 1. Violation of Hierarchy and Undermining of the Parental Subsystem According to Murray Bowen's family systems theory, a healthy family functions as a hierarchical structure with clear subsystems: the parental (executive, decision-making) and the child subsystem. The grandmother belongs to the extended family subsystem. Her attempt to replace the parents means intrusion into the parental subsystem and its weakening. Specific dangers: Undermining parental authority: When the grandmother begins to challenge the rules set by the parents (regarding nutrition, routines, discipline, gadgets), the child is placed in a loyalty conflict. He is forced to choose whose rules to follow, which leads to manipulative behavior ("Grandma allows it!"). This is called a "coalition across generations," where the grandmother and the child unconsciously unite against the parents. Infantilization of parents: A grandmother who takes on key decisions (choosing school, doctor, extracurricular activities) conveys a hidden message: "You (my children) are not capable of managing on your own." This slows down the development of parental competence and autonomy of the adult children, fixing t ... Read more